I am so fucking sick of being confused and upset. This has been my default mood for the past two weeks, and I know EXACTLY why, but it’s not something I should go into detail about on the internet.
I hate feeling like this. I wish I could make a decision and be done with it, but right now it’s far too hard to do that.
My heart is a fucking idiot.
I don’t know what I want to do with my life. I feel directionless… without a particular goal in mind, there are no particular steps towards achieving it.
I want to get my novel published, and I want to write more, but I’m at a loss as to what to write about. Whenever I start writing something I’m always so critical of it that I abandon it after the first couple of thousand words, thinking that it will never be good enough.
I feel like I think too much. I’m neurotic. I question everything, and worry about things that aren’t going to be relevant until years down the track, or things that may never happen.
I’m self-conscious, and socially awkward. I find it hard to make friends, REAL friends, because it’s rare for me to find someone who I can click with and really understand. I think that most people see me as being weird/depressed/troubled/boring, or in general just someone that they shouldn’t get too close to. I don’t know if they really think these things or if it’s just my paranoid imagination.
